It’s 3am and I can’t sleep.  Not sleeping is nothing new for me but cruising Facebook in the middle of the night is.   I spent the last hour looking at pictures of a friend of ours from the Navy who passed away from a heart attack yesterday and tried to remember everyone I knew from those days.  His death hit me harder than I expected and I think it’s because the guy was a “larger than life, live life to the fullest” type of guy.  And if those types can’t hang on to this life, who can?  Awareness of my mortality has once again set in but I’m not sure where to go with it.  We all talk about how life is short and we need to remember to hug our children.  We preach about having no regrets but it’s so much easier said than done.  I’m fully aware that the concept of work-life balance is a myth but that doesn’t help me ease the guilt and stress that threaten to paralyze my productivity and happiness.    And lack of sleep, lots of stress and too much Miller Lite is surely not helping lengthen my life span.    Ultimately, I think we are all moving through life too quickly and trying to cram too much in at one time.  Or maybe it’s just me trying to do too much and having the inability to intelligently prioritize.  Maybe I should just take it one step at a time.  Like my cleaning lady tells me… ‘Breathe Carol, Breathe’.

ok.. got that..   Now what?  It’s 3:45am and I still can’t sleep.